Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
