so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
