just come out here and I will go home with you...
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
