There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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