Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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