went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
