Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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