ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize