And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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