Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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