you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
