youre lurking in front of me
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Randomize
