im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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