So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
