I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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