My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Enjoy the penises
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Randomize
