Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
