honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize