He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
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