I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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