Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Your cock deserves a montage
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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