Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
You made out with two different species that night
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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