I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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