you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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