Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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