some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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