Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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