We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
