i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
