I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
