We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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