they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
