I'd wear matching sweaters with you
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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