let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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