My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
