My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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