Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
