Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize
