Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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