I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
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They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
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I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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