dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
