I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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