I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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