And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
