You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Randomize
