So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
