Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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