You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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