Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
