I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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