She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
