Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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