she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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