you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
