Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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