If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
